UnReal Estate… Or What to Do When Oscar Isaac Becomes Your Worst Nightmare!

Hello my  Lovelies!

I don’t know if it’s the weird weather out or the fact that I am crazy-close to finishing Project Ur (thank you very much Warren Ellis for that spiffy term) or if it’s just the current zeitgeist of the city… but I keep having THE WORST real estate dreams… No joke! In them, earnest hipsters with neatly trimmed triangle beards, and ominous cats keep chasing me all over the city… and NOT in a good way.

Last night, they chased me right out of my apartment to a Westin and then to an awful Marriott with nasty bedspreads (sorry Marriott brand). The desk clerk there was also an Oscar-type, and HE kept telling me that I was actually booked at a boutique hotel called The Lucky (some ACE poseur in my dream) but I couldn’t ever seem to find it. It was like The Walking Dead, but instead, the Oscar Isaacs all had these credentials and liquid assets… And they were way better writers.

My BFF Ed (depicted here below in dog form–whose dog is this, btw?) keeps telling me…

ed

I need to desensitize myself to the Game of Thrones that is New York real estate by listening to this podcast: There Goes the Neighborhood and that it’s just like check-in at an Italian airport… anything goes! To this I say…

hipster

Thanks for allowing the dream rant… and thanks to all of those who wrote in last week agreeing that we SHOULD INDEED have Neil DeGrasse Tyson as a write-in running mate! It makes so much sense, right??? But how do you get creative with housing in our/your fair city when Oscar Isaac starts to give chase with a cat in hand? Drop me a line 🙂

Ok, back to Project UR… even though it’s cloudy out and there are buildings… make sure to wear sunscreen and be nice to each other. (I swear, you’ll thank me later.)

XOXO – GG

 

Where the hell is Neil DeGrasse Tyson? And why can’t HE be President?

Or at least a running mate? We need some science in here NOW! (Especially the city.) I’m with Jenny Lawson … I am SO SICK of Mercury in being in retrograde. We need to do something! Communication,  writing, business stuff, technology, the cloud and mass transit are all so batshit screwy this week. BUT before we go ahead and blow up Mercury, I feel like we need to get Neil to tell us what the planetary environmental repercussions would be. Because I’m thinking we might NOT NEED to actually blow it up. Instead, we could just put one of those James Bond Moonraker or Thunderball jet packs on it (but a super ginormous one, powered by dark energy) and simply nudge Mercury into moving in the right direction again.

Ed says both Jenny and I are ridiculously wrong and that what we (and all astro-types) really need is corrective lenses. (He also thinks Neil for anyone’s running mate is a swell idea.) I already wear glasses, so I still vote for Neil to fix things with planets. Or at least design the glasses…

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Stupid universe… Get your act together Mercury. You’re being like one of those dumb tourists on the Central Park reservoir path… Totally walking the wrong way with selfie-sticks fully extended and irritating the hell out of the rest of us. Grrr….

Happy Weekend Everybody. Enjoy the Columbus Avenue Street Fair and its tons of books 🙂

XOXO -GG