Well, I’m back… back in New York City and not a moment too soon. St. Tropez was a complete bust. I know what you’re thinking… Who goes to the French Riviera to have a bad time?
I do. That’s right, this girl. Me, me, me.
I go 3000 miles to hang out with a smart, gorgeous, completely age-appropriate guy who likes the same books that I like, the same art that I like, a guy who laughs at my jokes, listens to my stupid stories (except for the one about Italy. I can never tell it quite right) and who agrees that cold anchovies right out of the jar are really good, and who recognizes that If you can go to the DMV together and still have fun, you are probably soul mates. Yes, I skipped across 3 countries to have a terrible time with this guy.
I am not in love with the Frenchy—despite what people may insist. Truthfully, I can’t stand him. He has made me feel profoundly un-pretty (which blows because I still I think I’m moderately adorable… i.e., paper bag with arm holes adorable). That the only way to get him to be kind is to openly and severely scorn him, is boringly problematic.
For instance, I can channel Liz Lemon and say things like: “Bleck (cough, cough, gag)…Don’t kiss me with your skungey morning breath, you big ass. Oof… When did you have time to eat a diaper?”
“This fish, that you’re insisting on making everyone eat, tastes like a used condom. It’s the South of France for god sake–there is literally great food everywhere. Everywhere, but here.”
It’s these kinds of comments that transform him into a perfect darling. Why did I bother to be so polite? All I wanted was a ham sandwich.
But I am back now. Back in my new home in NYC, on the upper west side, back where there’s ham, near the park, where the birds are relentless, where bench culture still thrives, and where young men work out in yarmulkes, listening to Des’ree’s Gotta Be while simultaneously speed reading Harpers. After 10 years away, it is the same NYC and then it isn’t. There are those small betrayals I’ll have to get over…
So, what will I write about in this blog? Not sure yet. Probably a daily dispatch of all the things I love about New York… mostly so that you will love it here too and visit heaps.
Just a caveat… please know that I am absolutely expecting almost everything in this new life of mine to go completely wrong, but… just like France and other things therein… I have decided I’m going to love it anyway.
xoxo – gg